Bill of No Rights

[truelies]

The Bill of NO RightsThe following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA. We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights. ARTICLE I:You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. ARTICLE II:You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. ARTICLE III:You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. ARTICLE IV:You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. ARTICLE V:You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care. ARTICLE VI:You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. ARTICLE VII:You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure. ARTICLE VIII:You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. ARTICLE IX:You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. ARTICLE X:You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

[wendy]

Origins: Mitchell Kaye, a Georgia state representative from Marietta, is not the originator of the piece. The famed "Bill of No Rights" was written in 1993 by Lewis Napper, a self-described amateur philosopher and from Mississippi who ran for a U.S. Senate seat in 2000 as a Libertarian.

Kaye's name likely became associated with it through the innocent act of finding the article in his inbox and liking it enough to forward to friends. People tend to leave official-looking signatures intact when they forward e-mail, and his name's remaining with the piece beyond the initial round of forwardings could easily have created the impression that he was the article's creator.

Kaye is quick to give credit where credit is due, and his office routinely informs those who ask about the "Bill of No Rights" of its true authorship.

On 19 July 2000, advice columnist Ann Landers published a truncated version of the piece, attributing it to Kaye. (Left out were the points about free health care and sending troops to fight in foreign wars.) She praised his "tough 'do-it-yourself' position" and declared the language he used to convey his message "delicious."

The "Bill" resonates with folks because it addresses a number of issues that have often led many of us to shake our heads in disbelief. This Bill of Rights parody strikes straight at the heart of the sense of entitlement so often displayed by those who feel the world owes them a living.

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/norights.htm

[Slipped Mickey]

I was born in DeKalb County but lived for many years in Cobb County (Marietta - "Mayretta"). Cobb County is one of the 5 counties of Metro Atlanta. It is the only county that voted NOT to have rapid transit as it would provide the means for more minorities to live in Cobb and work downtown.

Cobb County is the former home of former Rep. Larry McDonald who was vaporized over Kamchataka Peninsula. McDondald was a far right wing conservative.
Nothing much has changed.

The bill of no rights fits for much of Cobb. It was probably written in Austell.

Everything is relative.

I was born in DeKalb County but lived for many years in Cobb County (Marietta - "Mayretta"). Cobb County is one of the 5 counties of Metro Atlanta. It is the only county that voted NOT to have rapid transit as it would provide the means for more minorities to live in Cobb and work downtown.

Cobb County is the former home of former Rep. Larry McDonald who was vaporized over Kamchataka Peninsula. McDondald was a far right wing conservative.
Nothing much has changed.

The bill of no rights fits for much of Cobb. It was probably written in Austell.

Everything is relative.


Cobb Country made up their own version of rapid transit that links to the MARTA system. I think the only holdout at this point is Clayton. I have a cousin who votes against it every time it comes up. He doesn't want black home invaders getting his electronic equipment. Oh yeah, someone is going to go out to Bumblefuck Conyers to steal your DVD player and then sit around fifteen minutes waiting for the train or bus to come along.

[Flyrod]

I was born in DeKalb County but lived for many years in Cobb County (Marietta - "Mayretta"). Cobb County is one of the 5 counties of Metro Atlanta. It is the only county that voted NOT to have rapid transit as it would provide the means for more minorities to live in Cobb and work downtown.

Cobb County is the former home of former Rep. Larry McDonald who was vaporized over Kamchataka Peninsula. McDondald was a far right wing conservative.
Nothing much has changed.

The bill of no rights fits for much of Cobb. It was probably written in Austell.

Everything is relative.


Cobb Country made up their own version of rapid transit that links to the MARTA system. I think the only holdout at this point is Clayton. I have a cousin who votes against it every time it comes up. He doesn't want black home invaders getting his electronic equipment. Oh yeah, someone is going to go out to Bumblefuck Conyers to steal your DVD player and then sit around fifteen minutes waiting for the train or bus to come along.

Smart cousin, etc. and saves some bucks on taxes, etc. etc. etc. too!!! ;D That's why cousin lives in surburbs!!!
HELLO!!!!!

I was born in DeKalb County but lived for many years in Cobb County (Marietta - "Mayretta"). Cobb County is one of the 5 counties of Metro Atlanta. It is the only county that voted NOT to have rapid transit as it would provide the means for more minorities to live in Cobb and work downtown.

Cobb County is the former home of former Rep. Larry McDonald who was vaporized over Kamchataka Peninsula. McDondald was a far right wing conservative.
Nothing much has changed.

The bill of no rights fits for much of Cobb. It was probably written in Austell.

Everything is relative.


Cobb Country made up their own version of rapid transit that links to the MARTA system. I think the only holdout at this point is Clayton. I have a cousin who votes against it every time it comes up. He doesn't want black home invaders getting his electronic equipment. Oh yeah, someone is going to go out to Bumblefuck Conyers to steal your DVD player and then sit around fifteen minutes waiting for the train or bus to come along.

Smart cousin, etc. and saves some bucks on taxes, etc. etc. etc. too!!! ;D That's why cousin lives in surburbs!!!
HELLO!!!!!


Nope stupid cousin. Lives in the suburbs, drives a gas guzzler into Atlanta to work, spends lots on gas, but doesn't want public transit because he's too "scirred of the niggros."

HELLO!!!!!

[wendy]

Nope stupid cousin. Lives in the suburbs, drives a gas guzzler into Atlanta to work, spends lots on gas, but doesn't want public transit because he's too "scirred of the niggros."

HELLO!!!!!


I guess your cousin doesn't want any business to move to his neck of the woods. Does he want to have to drive 25 miles to go to target or get a hamburger?

Nope stupid cousin. Lives in the suburbs, drives a gas guzzler into Atlanta to work, spends lots on gas, but doesn't want public transit because he's too "scirred of the niggros."

HELLO!!!!!


I guess your cousin doesn't want any business to move to his neck of the woods. Does he want to have to drive 25 miles to go to target or get a hamburger?


If it keeps the niggros and low lifes out, yep. Other than that he's a nice guy.

[mancow]

living in the suburbs is ok for tax purposes but ain't all its crapped up to be. most of us have to drive an hour each way to work. the traffic is hell!

living in the suburbs is ok for tax purposes but ain't all its crapped up to be. most of us have to drive an hour each way to work. the traffic is hell!


Yeah it is. I also hate trying to find places for yoga, Pilates or belly dancing.

[truelies]

[quote author=LizzieEleanor

Yeah it is. I also hate trying to find places for yoga, Pilates or belly dancing.
[/quote]

Are you a viewer or performer of the belly dancing art form? Just curious. :)

[Poppa Bear]

I very much doubt that many blacks, other than successful drug dealers, can afford to live in Cobb county. What they were actually afraid of was minorities from Atlanta taking MARTA to Cobb county where they could steal better stuff.
Also Conyers is in Rockdale county, not Clayton.

I very much doubt that many blacks, other than successful drug dealers, can afford to live in Cobb county. What they were actually afraid of was minorities from Atlanta taking MARTA to Cobb county where they could steal better stuff.
Also Conyers is in Rockdale county, not Clayton.


Why on earth would someone take MARTA into to Cobb County to steal my computer and DVD player, and then have to wait fifteen minutes for the next bus or train to come by? You'd look pretty doggone conspicuous sititng at the bus stop with a VCR in your lap.

I really don't care what you call the different metro counties because all that usually live there are pretentious uptight yuppies.