View Full Version : LIMERICKS
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 06:24 PM
A THREAD DEDICATED TO AN UNDERAPPRECIATED ART FORM....
Satan
02-03-2003, 06:47 PM
You are a very brave woman. 8)
wendy
02-03-2003, 07:00 PM
I haven't written a limerick in years. Perhaps we need a contest for the best Yukon limerick. ;D
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 07:03 PM
brave, no.
reckless, yes. ;)
Satan
02-03-2003, 07:03 PM
"Yukon was born in Nantucket..."
Sorry, all the limericks I know are about Nantucket. ::)
wendy
02-03-2003, 07:06 PM
all the limericks I know are about Nantucket. ::)
Involving a very large bucket?
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 07:09 PM
dongha has written some dandies...
I hope to see him here for an encore or two...
BIS!
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 07:39 PM
As the poets so mournfully sung,
Death takes the innocent young,
The rolling in money,
The hysterically funny,
And those who are very well-hung.
WH AUDEN
You asked fer it, Lucy. :)
There was a young man from Stamboul
who soliloquized thus to his tool:
"You've taken my wealth
and you've ruined my health,
and now you won't pee, you old fool."
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 07:53 PM
You sly dog, you.
Did you write this, Arod?
Three line haikus are beyond my poetic abilities, Lucy. I think that came from Vonnegut, but I can't swear to it.
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 08:00 PM
If you can't swear to it, then for our purposes it is yours, Arod...Thanks.
A lovely limerick to be sure....
Satan
02-03-2003, 08:32 PM
A gay man who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
8)
I don't make up these things, I just hear them at the pool hall...
ilovelucy
02-03-2003, 09:04 PM
sky.
one of my favorites... :)
Satan
02-03-2003, 09:41 PM
There was a young man from Madras,
Who laid a young maid in the grass.
But the hot midday sun
Spoiled half his fun
By burning the skin on his ass.
------------------------------------------
There once was a man from Australia
Who had rather large genitalia
He said to his bride,
"Don't you try to hide,
'Cause wherever you go I can nail ya'."
8)
Reminds me of the time I was on an airplane to Boston and Senator Ted Kennedy was seated across the aisle from me. I had to fight the urge for nearly two hours to NOT say;
There was a man from chappiquidick....
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 07:13 AM
I would be fighting the urge to throw up.....
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 07:17 AM
As Titian was mixing rose madder
He posed his model up on a ladder
Her position to Titian suggested colition,
So he lept up the ladder and had her....
(please forgive me for sp)
I would be fighting the urge to throw up.....
Oh God Luce, you have no idea. He brought this smelly onion smelling sandwich onto the plane with him, and I was fairly well pregnant. And I had no idea how disgustingly fat that man was until I saw him taking up two seats in coach. Blah.
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 07:42 AM
I thought it was illegal to bring your own food aboard the plane, other than gum and mints and that sort of thing...You should have told the flight attendant that the fat man sitting over there was giving you morning sickness....
I thought it was illegal to bring your own food aboard the plane, other than gum and mints and that sort of thing...You should have told the flight attendant that the fat man sitting over there was giving you morning sickness....
The flight attendants were fawning all over him, asking him if he wanted a beverage with his meal. ::) Apparently he doesn't need to follow the laws.
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 08:33 AM
Watching that would make me throw up....
Satan
02-04-2003, 09:03 AM
You're just determined to throw up on this plane, aren't you? ;D
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 09:07 AM
;D
You're just determined to throw up on this plane, aren't you? ;D
That reminds me of the hangover I had on the day after my wedding. We flew out the next morning really, really early and I tossed my cookies five times on the plane. :D
Gosh, this thread has me all nostalgic....
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 09:10 AM
yuck.
A tribute to your husband. After all that, you managed to even have a honeymoon.... ;D
yuck.
A tribute to your husband. After all that, you managed to even have a honeymoon.... ;D
Certainly NOT a tribute to my husband. I do have to say that the hangover may have been exascerbated by the total lack of sleep the previous night. :D
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 09:15 AM
Well, if my husband had puked on the plane, I might have dumped him at the first layover.... ;D
Well, if my husband had puked on the plane, I might have dumped him at the first layover.... ;D
ROFLMBO!! Of course, most of the drink handing was done by him, so it was his fault. :D
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 10:49 AM
I don't even want to ask..... ;D
I don't even want to ask..... ;D
At the wedding, he was the one handing me all the drinks. :D
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 11:23 AM
Well, no doubt he felt responsible for your predictament(sp).... :)
Well, no doubt he felt responsible for your predictament(sp).... :)
No doubt he was responsible for my lack of sleep. :D
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 11:48 AM
How fun.... :)
How fun.... :)
There's no "wiggley eyebrow" smilie! :-*
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 11:57 AM
why would we need the wigglies? ;D
why would we need the wigglies? ;D
You sly thing.
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 12:33 PM
Naturally. ;D
L. Rick
02-04-2003, 01:37 PM
A grumpy old guy known as 'Bad'
Married multiple times as a fad.
What he didn't expect,
was the lack of respect
Paid by women who thought him a cad.
A grumpy old guy known as 'Bad'
Married multiple times as a fad.
What he didn't expect,
was the lack of respect
Paid by women who thought him a cad.
Wait...I know this person! ;D
YOUNG MAN FROM LACHINE
There was a young man from Lachine,
Who invented a jerk-off machine,
On the 56th stroke,
The fuc**ng thing broke,
It turned his balls to cream !
YOUNG MAN FROM NANTUCKET
The was a young man from Nantucket,
His penis was so long he could s*ck it,
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*nt I would f*ck it "
wendy
02-04-2003, 02:04 PM
A grumpy old guy known as 'Bad'
Married multiple times as a fad.
What he didn't expect,
was the lack of respect
Paid by women who thought him a cad.
Wait...I know this person! ;D
Is there ANYONE on the internet who doesn't know about your marital history? ;D
Satan
02-04-2003, 02:16 PM
YOUNG MAN FROM NANTUCKET
The was a young man from Nantucket,
His penis was so long he could s*ck it,
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*nt I would f*ck it "
The Blue Ribbon winner of nasty-limerick competitions for as long as I can remember. ;D
ilovelucy
02-04-2003, 03:10 PM
Lovely limericks all...
Please continue...... :)
L. Rick
02-05-2003, 12:45 PM
When I-RIGHT-I invaded our forum,
The membership called for a quorum.
Would they insult him with glee,
(which is just fine with me)
Or lead with grace and decorum?
ilovelucy
02-05-2003, 02:31 PM
bravo!!!
keep writing!
L. Rick
02-05-2003, 05:55 PM
arod had a terrible habit,
involving intercourse with a welsh rabbit.
When the poor bunny swooned,
arod ran from the room,
For he knew they would never cohabit.
You have a gift L.Rick.
Now who the hell are you?
wendy
02-06-2003, 08:44 AM
You have a gify L.Rick.
Now who the hell are you?
gify?
You have a gify L.Rick.
Now who the hell are you?
gify?
Typo police? :D
wendy
02-06-2003, 08:49 AM
You have a gify L.Rick.
Now who the hell are you?
gify?
Typo police? :D
Always. ;D
One of my favorites, source unknown as are most limericks.
A pirate, so history relates
was messing about with his mates
when he fell on his cutlas
which rendered him nutless
and practically useless on dates.
ilovelucy
02-06-2003, 10:12 AM
Jen
Priceless!!!!!
OAG--
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
(I needed this today..... :))
wendy
05-03-2003, 09:01 PM
Bump for ponygurl
ponygurl
05-03-2003, 09:09 PM
A THREAD DEDICATED TO AN UNDERAPPRECIATED ART FORM....
Teehee.. thank you luce.
ponygurl
05-03-2003, 09:13 PM
There once was a man from Milton
Who's goal was to irritate the www to the hilton,
He declared I AM THE YUKONN MAN
Which resulted in the BAN
And left his goal a'wilten.
tileman
05-03-2003, 09:26 PM
There's plenty of pipes through that door
Bongs, clips, sidecars, and more
Don't worry about cash
I have plenty of stash
And use only the carborator....
(kinda like carboratuer ;D)
ilovelucy
05-03-2003, 09:50 PM
:)
fun, aren't they?
Satan
05-04-2003, 07:35 AM
There's plenty of pipes through that door
Bongs, clips, sidecars, and more
Don't worry about cash
I have plenty of stash
And use only the carborator....
(kinda like carboratuer ;D)
Man, I really gotta get out there for a visit. You think you could remember how to get to the airport to pick me up? 8)
There once was a man named NorNec,
A man who was born with a spiral prick.
His life was spent in one long hunt
to find the girl with the spiral cunt.
When he found her he dropped dead,
'cause that damn bitch had left hand thread!!!
ponygurl
05-04-2003, 08:29 AM
There once was a man named NorNec,
A man who was born with a spiral prick.
His life was spent in one long hunt
to find the girl with the spiral cunt.
When he found her he dropped dead,
'cause that damn bitch had left hand thread!!!
;D
You have a talent there.
This one if for jeny.
There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.
tileman
05-04-2003, 12:16 PM
Man, I really gotta get out there for a visit. You think you could remember how to get to the airport to pick me up? 8)
Any time bud........Lotta cool shit out here.... 8)
Any time bud........Lotta cool shit out here.... 8)
Can I spend a week with you?
ilovelucy
05-04-2003, 08:55 PM
Lonestar, I think you have found a new gendre to call "home"---
ilovelimericks aka lucy :)
tileman found some dynamite
He didn't know about it, quite
Curiosity never pays
It rained tileman for seven days.
ponygurl
05-04-2003, 09:23 PM
tileman found some dynamite
He didn't know about it, quite
Curiosity never pays
It rained tileman for seven days.
Curious limerick . ;)
NorNec
05-04-2003, 09:28 PM
never mind.
wendy
05-04-2003, 09:34 PM
never mind.
That's the best post you've had in the last year.
NorNec
05-04-2003, 09:35 PM
There once was a man named NorNec,
A man who was born with a spiral prick.
His life was spent in one long hunt
to find the girl with the spiral cunt.
When he found her he dropped dead,
'cause that damn bitch had left hand thread!!!
A far away place,
lives a man with a space,
so deep he could never mine it,
along came a man,
with a shovel in hand,
and taught LS how to find it.
His wife was mad,
as the young handsome lad,
left her with the ol man,
and no signs of a tan,
with a g-string with room behind it. ;D
NorNec
05-04-2003, 09:35 PM
That's the best post you've had in the last year.
for your sake.....I agree. ;D
There once was a man from Japan
Whose Limericks would never quite scan
When asked why it was so
He said "I don't know"
"But maybe it's because I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I ever possibly can !"
ilovelucy
05-04-2003, 10:05 PM
bravo!
love it...
lucy
I once bought some wine in Parie
It tasted quite nasty to me
I translated the lable
and spat it out on the table
In French it had said Aged Monk Pee
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